As the frenzied season of college hunting approaches for me, I am finding it harder and harder to pin point what I want to study and where.
I have many interests, though I am not sure if any of them I want to pursue an entire life time in.
I have never thought of myself as a particularly adventurous person, I like what is familiar and known, I like hanging around the house and seeing good friends I know well. And I was always confident that by the time I got to college I would choose one of the things I was really interested in and get myself educated in it. The most traditional of paths, high school, college, undergraduate work, internships, career jobs. Knowing that I would enjoy working hard to be successful at whatever it was I had chosen.
Because I have always loved working hard to be the best I can be.
But now, after this experience of exchange, I just don't know what I want. That pursuit just seems too easy, as though I am denying the part of me which has yet to decide what one calling I really want, the part of me which urges me to see everything and experience it all before I decide anything for keeps.
Now I long for what is new, to explore and create my own world inside of the new one I am exploring, finding my own corner in something new and different.
In this way exchange has altered my current mind set, my elementary desires.
What I don't know is how I will appease this desire, this need for new. Or how long into my lifestyle it will control my decisions.
We will just have to wait and see what sort of path I can beat into the brush to see where I am headed and how I apply this new focus in my life to the one I already have!
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