There are many things that are unique to youth exchange, just like there are lots of experiences and growth that you go through because you are figuring out life more independently and in a foreign country. Things feel different because they are different.
Personally one of the biggest changes from the beginning between living in Portland, Oregon and Lima, Peru was not the language or the food differences or being away from family.
The hardest thing for me to get used to was the concept of being an outsider.
The strangest feeling that I had to get used to was that of being observed.
And it was such a strange thing to accustom to because you are the foreigner, living in a new world. Your job is to soak up everything around you and live this new life by observation. The tips you are literally given before going on exchange are to watch everyone else; if you are not sure which fork to use watch everyone else, how and who do you greet, follow someoneelse's lead.
And let me say that I followed this to the T. Having a host sister was incredibly great for that in my first weeks.
But this just makes it even stranger. You are observing EVERYTHING because it is exciting and new and you are dieing to see it all and experience everything. You observe to understand the life. But these observations are best taken when you blend in, to see the world in its truly natural, neutral environment (with no reactions to you). Which suddenly becomes impossible because you show up on everyone's radar as something foreign.
I am not sure if I am getting this understanding across so I will drag in some visual. In the movie Inception (which I am really just gonna assume everyone has seen because let's face it, almost everyone not living under a mountain has) when the young girl (also known as Ellen Page) is introduced to the dream world architecture they go on a stroll, Ellen Page manipulating the dream worlds structure. There is a point during this in which Leonardo DiCaprio tells her that she has to cool her jets and stop messing with the world so much because all the people walking around will realize that she is not one of them, someone who is unwelcome in his subconscious.
Well- right before the dream people start attacking her, they all begin to turn and stare transfixed. This naked stare is pretty much how I felt, me stepping in for Ellen Page.
It feels like the entire world is just staring at you, unabashed, as you walk around. It is really strange after coming from a place where you are an everyday citizen and no one looks twice to consider your presence. Mix in that you are trying to observe everyone else but they continue to observe you, and it's a real game changer.
For me at the beginning when all the change was fresh and everything was more difficult, this was a big deal. It has some to do with the idea that it's a constant notion reminding you that you are not anywhere that you started (you don't know this place and they don't know you, in the original game plan you did not belong here)-that you are not home. A lot to do with the feeling that you do not belong, it is much more difficult to blend in when a) you are much taller than the average population b) you are much whiter than the average population c) you dress in a distinct manner than the average population and then you have everything else when you begin interacting with people, language accent, mannerisms, interpretations, experiences, knowledge. All of this attracts quite a lot of attention to which I was not accustomed to receiving. Nor was I ready for, I was all set on going abroad and exploring and observing and figuring out life here by seeing it all happening and then jumping in and trying to work it out after taking constant mental notes and images. Instead there is no slip in nice and easy with out turning any heads.
Life as an exchange student is about making the splash when you hit the water.
This was hard to get used to. I am not used to nor am I fond of extra attention. Yelling on the bus for them to stop at the next corner and having ten heads swivel to stare at me was simply a lot to get used to. On a few occasions I would get off a few blocks early or late to avoid the sight seeing if I was just not feeling confident.
A whole other aspect about this is another kind of attention which I got for being a young white woman. I am talking about whistles and cat calls and random 'hellos' on the street. This on top of the subtly phsycological push of standing out made things tougher to get used to quicker. Now I am used to it, but it invokes many complaints from us exchange student ladies.
What I am trying to communicate is that going from being the observer to the observed was a unique experience that I went through (and continue to adjust to in new situations) on youth exchange.
And that this switch from the person doing all the observing to the person under constant observation is a very weird feeling to get used to. As though all the rules to the game you are playing suddenly got changed with out your consult.
But ofcours when you are on exchange you always end up winning in some way near the end
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